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 So, I've started several businesses since losing my last permanent job in 2009.
I started an IT support business, but it seems those are a dime a dozen in my part of the world.
I started a business to help college students and others with writing essays, doing research, and the like. It was pretty good, but then I got too busy with my own writing assignments to keep up with those of others who did not write their papers, but instead chose to think I should write theirs for them.
I started a business blogging. Guess what? You have to keep it up and hope someone sees you to advertise on your site before you get paid.
I have started an online gift store. I think I'll be taking it to flea markets this summer, though, and have my daughter and partner sit with me and help me sell jewelry, hats/scarves, tote bags, and household decoration stuff. It is fun, but time consuming to do some of the tasks. I should get back on it.
But, now my husband has a great idea. In our town, Pasadena, Texas, there are a lot of people who cannot get to the grocery store, or are too busy to go grocery shopping for themselves. These people, our neighbors, need help. We've started a business, A-1 Grocery Service, where we will do the shopping for our customers and then deliver them to the customer next day for a small fee. It should work. We have an elderly demographic, as well as people with no transportation in our area. We also have professionals who just don't have the time.
I'm going live very soon. I have the business cards, the vehicle, and the advertising cards to distribute around our neighboring apartment communities to see how things work. I sure hope that we can get individuals to see the value of our service. Marketing is hard when you don't know what you are doing!!!
I suggest that if you want to start a business, do the same thing. Look at all the skills and assets that you have. If you can write, then do that. If you are handy with a needle and thread, maybe you could taylor for some side work? If you like to go shopping, make it a profitable venture.
Any business has start-up costs. Of the ones I am involved in, the delivery service is really very inexpensive, considering I have a phone, I have a computer, internet access, vehicle, and knowledge of the surrounding areas of my town.
Think about the place you live. What needs do you see? What do you think you can do to make things easier on others? What kinds of things would other people like to have help with that there is not a great saturation of in your area. Then go for it!!
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 OK, I have to admit, I like to have control of things. My brain works in a way that keeps things moving forward and keeps everyone on task.
But guess what? I'm likely not the only one. To be in charge, as I am in my little world of after school activity programs, is to let the instructors in the programs do what they are hired to do.
If you have a glitch in a system within a classroom, do not correct the instructor in front of the students. Do not give students in the class permission to do things, and if you think the instructor needs help, ask the instructor, do not just interject.
If you want respect from the instructors that work with you, you have to give them respect. But that does not mean you leave the instructors alone. When it comes down to it, the supervisor is responsible for the staff.
If you find that there is a disconnect between the instructors and the students, then meet with the instructors away from the class.
Now, this is my personal experience, but it can be recreated in many situations.
For example, if you have a child who is expected to do a particular project for his school, guide them, give them ideas, but the project is theirs. You can offer assistance, but do not do the work for the child.
If you are in a corporate full-time environment and find co-workers are falling behind, do not just jump in and take over their responsibility, ask them if they need your help.
No matter what, the control freak in us all need to step back and let others shine, too.
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 Where is God? Is there a God? Is there science, space aliens, or Mother Earth?
If you believe that God exists then He exists in you. Your actions are a reflection of what you believe as a deity. If you believe in moderation in all things, and follow Buddha, then more power to you, but believe it.
If your belief comes from your faith in science then that would be your god. Consider that God is all things, so that means He is also science.
Worshiping the Earth is the oldest of faiths. Thanking the Earth for providing sustinence is an honest belief. Considering that Earth is a mother also makes sense, as the person who gave a human life, a cat life, a mosquito life are all mothers.. The female of the species, therefore those with no belief in a patriarchal system of rules and regulations would logically form around the nurturing, guiding, and teaching mother.
Where is you God? Is your God someone you can see in the trees and the smile of a little child? Is your God the ability to think for yourself, or the companionship of like-minded people?
Regardless of your God, is it your place to force your personal beliefs on others? Is it my place to go to a person with a different belief system and tell them they are wrong? What makes you right and them wrong? Why would Islam be more right than the Jewish faith? Why would Mother Earth be less relevant than atheism?
The belief in a God or a belief in no God is a personal choice and is the right of_001.jpg) every individual. Being unhappy because someone else does not agree with your beliefs is being selfish. We are not here to force our will on others.
God would not like that, regardless of whose God you have faith in. Do unto others? Eye for an Eye, or give peace a chance... It's your place to teach your children well. Teach them to do good things, and to think of others, and to not do harm to other people. Your faith in humanity should be your teacher, and your belief in any God will help guide your ways.
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What can I possibly do today? I have to work, of course. Work makes things happen. But what else? Do I work to live, do I live to work?
Is there more to my day than doing things that other people think I should be doing? Is there a chance that I may be able to do without being told what to do?
Doing is something we all do. But what do we do? Do we read to be entertained, or do we read to be educated? Do we cook to eat, or do we eat to live? Why do we sit when we can stand, and why do we stay silent when our voice should be heard?
Doing makes us who we are. It is how we identify ourselves. In conversation with other people, one of the first questions is "What do you do?". In a business networking forum, in a meeting on a first date, on a day after school, we have to know what we do because someone will ask us.
Do you want a loan? Why? What are you going to do with the money? There is always someone wanting to know what you do.
Do you know who you are? Consider what you do. That is likely who you are.
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 Your beautiful seventeen year old girl came home from a "girl's night" and rushes right to her room. You don't really think much of it because she is a teenager and prone to moods.
The next morning you call your children down to breakfast and your seventeen year old won't look you straight in the face, you keep seeing her left profile. No matter where you walk in the room, or where you sit, her left side is always the one closest to you.
Finally her little brother points at her nose and exclaims "Suzy got a nose ring!" and giggles loudly, nearly falling off his chair. Your eyes get wide and you put your hand on her chin and turn her face to you. What happens once you see the big silver ring hanging from her nostril? Your daughter's eyes go from glaring at her little brother to welling up with tears, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
If she was happy about getting the nose ring why did she not ask for permission, or tell her mother right away? Did she think you would disapprove? Have you had conversations like this in the past? Do you think that there is a rift in communication?
Teenagers are secretive, and want to make decisions for themselves. Of course they would not tell you right away of a face-altering change. As for permission, again, they want to make decisions for themselves. Seventeen year olds can get piercings in many states without parental permission. If you and your daughter have talked about nose rings and you've expressed your displeasure with it, she is unlikely to consult you in her decision. As for a rift in communication: clearly there is one.
How should you react to the nose ring? Even if you do not necessarily like it, you may try some levity to relieve the tension in the room. Tell her something like "you should have gone for a pink flower" or "maybe next one can be in your lip and you can link them". Whatever you do, however, is not blow a stack. She is nearly an adult, and although her decisions may not be what you would approve of, they are hers to make.
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What happens when nothing seems to be going right? What happened in the first place?
Think back to the beginning of the day and figure out what that first negative experience was. After that, think about how you dealt with that negative experience. Did you work through it, did you get upset, did you shout and curse?
After that first negative experience of the day what happened afterward? Did you figure that your day was going to go downhill after the first experience? Then more bad things kept happening, didn't they?
Consider this: You make your own destiny and you create your own day. If you are unable to get past a first bad experience in the day you are likely to carry that sad or negative feeling with you the rest of the day. When that occurs then even the slightest and most benign experiences begin to feel as though they are just another straw stacked on the back of that camel.
By the end of the day, you may feel exhausted, or so frustrated that you want to cry. Try, again, to consider that first negative experience of the day. If you can find a way to resolve that first problem of the day, all the other "problems" of the day will begin to fall in line and resolve themselves or become less critical than they were when you were feeling frustrated.
Breathe, take each moment at a time, and consider that you are one person, you have the right to have a bad day, but you have a bigger right to be comfortable, happy, and calm in your own skin.
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So your daughter wants her room to be deep purple, and you son refuses to walk into the boring beige bathroom one more time. What can you do about that?
As long as you do not live in an apartment with restrictions, there is no reason why your daughter cannot have her deep purple bedroom.
Regarding your son's aversion to beige in the bathroom there is no harm in improving the room by adding some color. Beige is a perfectly fine base, but you can spruce up the rest of the bathroom by adding a splash of color.
You can accomplish this by putting in a friendly and patterned shower curtain, match it up with some colored towels. Add sconces and pictures on the wall, and accompanying rugs for the tub and toilet.
In this way you can keep your agreeable beige but also gain some agreeableness in your son, too.
Color is an easy thing to add to a room, using accent pieces, paint, or pictures. You can change the entire feel of a room by adding a space rug or runner, too. Changing colors in a room will also give the entire place a facelift that may also lift the spirits of your loved ones and guests.
Don't be afraid to try some bold colors. There is nothing wrong with painting your walls green, or having an accent wall that is a solid color or has a lovely mural on it.
Don't worry about anything when you look for color. It's your place, it's your personality, and you have the right to make your environment your own.
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Your baby is born and it is nearly time to go back to work. The separation from your newborn may seem unbearable, especially if this is your first baby, but you know that it is likely very necessary, especially in this economy, to stay home with your baby every day.
By now you likely have some idea of where your baby will spend his day while you are at work. Will you choose daycare centers, family member, or a home-care nanny? Many factors may have to be considered when you are trying to find the right person to watch your precious baby.
Day Care Centers
Day care centers come in all varieties. It is important to visit the daycare center. I would advise that you call for an appointment the first visit in order to get a tour of the facility and learn what opportunities are available for you and your baby. After you have visited the day care centers on your list go back, unannounced and see how the day care personnel perform when they do not expect you. This way you will know how your infant will be cared for on a daily basis.
Depending on your region of the country, you may find that the cost of watching your infant ranges from reasonable to second-mortgage rates. You have to know your own income, and determine if the benefits outweigh the costs. Of course there is no expense too great for your baby and you want to be sure he is in the best hands, but you want to help send them to college, too, right?
Family Member
If you are going to contract a family member to watch your baby while you are at work, and the family member is not your spouse, then you should have already begun speaking with them about it. If your mother, sister, aunt, or other adult is willing to watch your child you have to find out if they are going to charge you. You also have to make sure the adult family member understands your work hours and is always available to watch your bundle of joy for all the hours that you are working.
If you do not clearly express your needs you may find that your family does not necessarily behave like a business and you may find that one day your babysitter is unavailable.
Home-base Nanny
Nannies are a new and very useful group of people. There are two types: visiting nanny, and live-in nanny. Depending on your finances and living conditions, you might be able to handle either situation. Be sure you get references for the nanny and check them out. You don't want to find out, after you hired the one that seemed perfect, that your jewelry box is empty, or worse, the liquor cabinet! After all, you do not want a woman or man who is a drinker to take care of your baby.
No matter what choices you have available in your area, be sure that you are protecting your pocket as well as your baby. Your child is important and deserves the very best care, but you can also find that several problems and expenses concerning daycare opportunities may get in the way of your perfect choice.
Make sure, at any rate, that you also have a back-up plan. For example, maybe you can telecommute, or you can work different hours so that either you or your husband is able to watch the baby. You may even, if you can afford it, stay at home with your baby until he's ready to start school.
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Your seven year old still wets the bed and you cannot figure out how to stop the behavior. It is frustrating at this time in your relationship with a person who should be growing up, to know that there is still behavior that they should have been able to overcome.
A couple things may be going on here. Check the list below and see if any of these issues could be plaguing your little one.
Stress
A child who has to go to school every day, has homework, extra workloads like science fair projects, and other such things going on in his life may begin to get frustrated or stressed. If a child is stressed they may regress a bit, and bedwetting is a sign of this kind of stress. Talk to your child about how they are doing in school, give them a helping hand for their homework and any extra assignments and do not shout at him for needing the extra help. We may know things but our little second grader is unlikely to know what to do next.
New family member
If you have just had a new baby the older child may be regressing to get some of the attention that has been directed toward the new baby. He may want to still be the most important thing to draw your attention and although he may know that a baby requires more help than a school aged child that does not matter to him. He wants things to stay the way they were, and he may be going backwards to a baby state to regain that attention. Sit down with your older child and discuss the reasons that he needs to be a big boy (or girl). He has to be big, strong, and responsible so he can help guide the baby once it is old enough to go off on his own. Make sure to leave a little time every day for your older child so that he begins to feel welcome again.
Broken family
Children of broken homes act out in many ways They may begin to misbehave in school, their grades may suffer, they may change their eating habits, and even the way that the address you or your spouse. They may also think that if they go back to a baby-like state that the two of you will get back together. You and your spouse need to sit down and get along while talking with the child about the break-up not being his fault, and that there is nothing that is going to keep the two of them from loving the child, even though they no longer love each other.
No matter the issue, you can try some things to help your child to have a dry night.
- No drinks for 30 minutes before bedtime.
- Have them go to the restroom 30 minutes before bedtime and then again right before bed.
- Make sure their bedroom is not cold. A cold environment can stimulate the bladder as it causes a person to sleep more soundly.
- Get the child up once before you go to bed to go once more to the restroom.
These are not sure-fire ways to keep your child from wetting the bed but they are worth a try.
If all else fails, take your child to the doctor. It is possible he has a physical problem that is keeping him from staying dry at night.
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Are you a mom? Do you have all the weight of your little corner of the world on your own personal shoulders? What would think if I told you that you are the very most important person in your home?
Just think about it. What happens if you don't do the dishes? What happens if you don't buy the display board for the science project? Does anyone else make sure breakfast is made, homework is done, and the floor is vacuumed?
Probably nothing happens. The floor gets dirty, the dishes all run out, and the science fair project is a total wash-out.
Now, consider that you are the integral hub of your household. You have all the power and yet no one really sees it.
What happens, mom, when you get sick? Does anyone take you to the doctor, make you soup, or get your prescription from the drug store? It is unlikely.
So, here is what you have to do, mom. Do not go on strike, that would just make your life more difficult because when you decide to end the strike you'll just have more work to do. But, you can go on a hiatus. Every day, after the floor is mopped and the kids and hubby go off to school, give yourself two hours. Yes, mom, 2 hours, every day, to do what you want to do. If you want to dance around the living room to old 80's songs, do it. If you want to turn off the television and read a book, do it. Bubble bath? By all means!
If you do not give yourself time to do what you want, you may become very stressed. When you get stressed you then break down your immune system which causes you to get sick. We've already talked about what happens when you get sick!
If mom does not take care of mom, she can't take care of her kids. She can't take care of her husband, and she cannot take care of her household.
Mom, if you work, it makes things even more difficult, but you can still plan a couple hours every day for yourself after rushing after work to pick up your children and then rushing home to cook dinner, clean the kitchen and talk with your husband.
You ARE the most important person in your household, and you have to acknowledge it.
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Your little girl is turning ten, or eleven, or twelve years old and she wants to have a slumber party. You tell her she can invite ten of her best friends and she negotiates for fifteen. After all, you have a popular little girl and she has a lot of friends.
After the invitations are given out and the day of the party comes, you find out that the slumber party has become a whole birthday party with boys and girls, gifts, and the expectation of cake, ice cream, snacks, and music. Now what?
Sometimes we have to be resourceful, and this would definitely be one of those times. Don't waste your money going to the grocery store to buy a ready-made cake. Everyone knows they are not as good as home made cakes. Just change the party theme!
Girls at this age are perfectly capable of baking. Pull out a recipe and the ingredients and let your little girl and her friends make and decorate the cake themselves. Snacks don't have to be sugary treats, either. If you have bread, butter, garlic powder, and herbs like basil and parsley, you can make bite-size seasoned toast. Do you have chocolate chips, or marshmallows? Melt the chips in a rice cooker or slow cooker and dip the marshmallows into it.
All of this may seem daunting when you have thirty kids to manage. A way to totally manage these kinds of numbers is to make smaller groups. Five small teams of six kids can do a great deal. Divide them into tasks like baking the cake, inventing snacks, decorating, setting up the dishes, or other tasks that need to be done. One group can even be charged with cleaning up as the other groups are doing the creative work.
Do you need music? The friends likely have MP3 players. Get one of those smart kids to upload select songs to a folder on a computer. Then the music can have variety for each child's taste, and it can be easily saved for future events, or for your daughter to remember her first slumber party.
Smaller groups of tween's are much easier to manage than large packs of people. Your daughter will be thrilled that you were able to adapt so quickly, and her friends will dub you the "cool mom" for getting them all involved.
After all, pin the tail on the donkey is great for an 8 year old, and piniata's are pretty fun if you are five, but kids will outgrow that quickly. Just be sure to set a time for the party to be over. Depending on the age of the children at the party, 8:00 to 10:00 is likely the latest they should be out, and you should know who is taking the kids home, monitoring their exit safely and responsibly.
After the pack has gone and you have sixteen little girls in pajamas with their "Pillow Pets", around, then you can introduce them to ghost stories, Truth or Dare, pop-corn, and soda. It's all good, and it will be over fast.
Good luck, Mom!!
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Today you have the joy of the world. You have grandchildren! Now what happens to your life?
Well, the first thing is to be there for your child during their new experiences. Remember, though, that this child is not yours, but the child of your child. That means that the person you nurtured for years is now going to be responsible for another person.
When it is not your child you can give advice but you have to agree that it is advice and not the rule. Your children have likely learned different methods of caring for children, did not like some of the ways that you took care of them when they were children, or just think that they would like to try to be a good parent on their own. Never ever give out unrequested advice.
How to give advice:
OK, your child has asked you to help them with something, like diaper rash or a baby who seems to cry all the time. You should never say "well, when you were a baby..." because they don't want to know what you did to them, they want to know what they should do for their infant. Instead, try to give them open ended advice like asking them what they have tried, and then ask them if they would consider doing something else.
For example, here is a vignette:
New mother: "Mom, Amy just keeps getting diaper rash! I wash her every time, and make sure she's dry before I put the diaper on, and even use powder. What am I missing?"
You: "Well, have you tried letting Amy sit without a diaper on for a few minutes to air-dry? Maybe she is allergic to the wipes or the diapers you are using? Have you tried a different brand?"
New mother: "I did change to another diaper because I ran out of the ones I got as gifts from the hospital. She did not have diaper rash in the hospital. Maybe I could buy a small package of the brand I got there and see if the rash goes away."
In the above scenario the grandparent did not give the new mother experience anecdotes, but rather knew of some things that may cause brand new baby skin to break out. The new mother, then, could think back on her own new experiences in a thoughtful way to conclude that the diapers may be the trouble.
No matter what, just remember that it is your job as the grandmother to spoil the new addition. It is not your job to discipline, instruct, or otherwise parent this child. Leave that to the parent. Even if you are in charge of the baby during times that the mother has to run errands or go to work, you should still not become as a parent with the child. Follow the mother's instructions on how she wants her child fed, clothed, and cared for.
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